


A Little Deadlight Never Killed Anyone

by Toothlesshoodie



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie lives!, Fix-it fic, M/M, R + E :), Stan doesn't but it's okay just wait till chapter 2, the kissing bridge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-13 00:13:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20573255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toothlesshoodie/pseuds/Toothlesshoodie
Summary: Richie is about to leave Derry, he's about to leave for the last time and move on. He's about to leave Eddie. But, first, he's got to carve something back into the kissing bridge he left in 1989. Little does he know that a short trip to find closure will give him everything he's ever wanted and more.





	1. And Then, It's Him

**Author's Note:**

> this can be read as stand-alone but there's going to be 3 chapters!

It was a warm day in Derry, most days in Derry were but this day just felt lighter. Like the air has cleared and people living there could finally breathe. Kids were rushing outside to play in their front yards and, for once, nobody felt afraid to lose them. Years from now, people would look back on it and think of it as the most peaceful summer they ever had despite the children who went missing right as it started. It was strange, but the missing children would soon be forgotten, just as they always were in Derry. Guess you can’t take the town’s nature away just as easily as you can take out the monster haunting it. 

Nice days still had to end at some point, though, and that’s why Richie Tozier was slowly zipping up his black duffle bag and giving the room he had stayed in one final look before he shut the door. There was no happiness in Richie’s eyes, he was the polar opposite of the entire town but not all that different from the families who lost their children. Richie didn’t lose a kid, but he lost the love of his life. In his own crowded and complicated mind, Richie thought to himself,  _ yeah, that’ll do shit to you.  _

Richie slowly padded down the stairs and looked down to see the faces of four of his friends. They all smiled at him, sympathy smiles no doubt, but smiles. Richie tried to smile back, but he couldn’t find it in him to do anything beyond the slow walking he was doing. How he was going to actually drive a car to the airport was beyond him. He wanted to smile back, he really did, but all he could think about was the two faces that should’ve been there and weren’t there. The two faces he lost despite not even remembering them for twenty-seven years. 

“Will you be okay?” Someone asks, Richie doesn’t look up to see but the softness of the voice makes him think it was Beverly. Beverly. The girl who gets to go with her love, hand in hand with Ben and about to kiss Derry goodbye for the last time. The girl that Richie was beyond bitter and jealous of no matter how hard he tried not to be. He knows he should feel happy for her, and, truth be told, he really does, but he can’t shake the thought of  _ why can’t that be me?  _ From his head. 

Richie shrugs and doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t meet anyone’s eyes and, lucky for him, everyone decides to stop trying to meet his. When Richie finally steps off the stairs, he feels a hand rest on his shoulder then another voice. Mike’s voice? Maybe Bill’s.   
  


“Call me when you get to the airport, I just wanna make sure you’re okay.” 

Richie nods, but he doesn’t take in what he’s really saying. He just does anything to make whoever is touching him go away. Does anything to be alone. The hand leaves his shoulder and Richie knows that it’s his queue to leave. He clutches the sling of his duffle bag and starts walking towards the door. If he was thinking clearly, he would’ve said goodbye or even hugged someone, but Richie doesn’t think he’ll be thinking clearly for a very, very long time. 

Besides, he’s got somewhere to be now. 

…

His carving was faded now, it was still readable but it was faded, but Richie could never forget where it was. He pulled his car over and took a deep breath before grabbing the swiss army knife he kept in the glove compartment. He padded over to the spot on the bridge slowly but with more enthusiasm than he did in front of the losers. He saw the carving immediately and smiled softly to himself, the memory of how he felt when he carved it, but his smile fell when he realized that Eddie would never get to see it. 

Richie started carving it back in then, hoping that in some way, Eddie could see what he made. What he put there for him. Something that could never leave this world, unless, god forbid, someone would take down the bridge. But seeing as the bridge still works as well as it does the day it was built, and the laziness of Derry, something tells Richie it’ll be there for a very long time. 

Richie felt tears welling up in his eyes as he finished carving the E in Eddie’s name and pulled back to look at what he had done. He almost sobbed, but he didn’t know who was around. With shaky hands, he pulled two fingers to his lips and pressed a kiss against them, then he pressed those two fingers against Eddie’s initial. How he was going to get along? He wasn’t sure now.

He started to back up then, getting ready to start accepting that this was his life now. He had lost the love of his life, where does someone even go after that? How does someone recover? What does that entail? How does he even start? He was asking so many questions in his head, and they were all so loud, he almost missed the cry from the water below the bridge. 

“Guys!?” The voice cried. But not just a voice, a familiar voice. One that made Richie’s heart twist and his stomach drop. 

“Richie! Bill! Beverly! Mike! Ben- someone! Somebody, please answer me!” 

Richie looked down then and saw a sewer covered arm emerge from the bushes, it made Richie jump but he didn’t run like he would if it was the clown. Oh god, please don’t let it be the clown. 

Then a whole body appeared. A man covered in sewer shit and bruises with a patch on his right cheek came out of the bushes. He was scared, frantically searching for any signs of something familiar because he was so obviously lost. He didn’t meet Richie’s eyes yet, but it didn’t take a genius to know what was going on. 

It was Eddie. 

Richie didn’t give it a second thought, he quickly jumped the fence (and somehow ignored the ache in his whole body after going up against an “eater of worlds”) and recklessly tumbled down the rocky hill. 

“Eddie!” He cried out, loud enough to make the boy finally turn his head. Eddie’s face was filled with hope when he heard the voice then flooded with relief. He started running, well, run-limping, towards Richie with his arms stretched out. He might’ve been tearing up, but Richie wouldn’t know because his vision was already clouded by his own tears. 

“Richie!” Finally, the two collided into each other’s arms. The hug was desperate, Eddie immediately threw his head into Richie’s shoulder, and even though Richie sort of wanted to do that too, he didn’t mind. He must’ve gone through hell. But, come to think of it, how the fuck was he here?   
  


“Y-You died,” Richie choked out, he really underestimated how fucked his voice would be. “Eddie you died! How’re you here?” 

Eddie pulled his head off of Richie’s shoulder and frantically shook his head, he was heaving for air but surprisingly maintaining it in a way that he hasn’t in years. For a short moment, Richie felt fear strike his heart at the idea of Eddie not being Eddie. For a short moment, he thought that maybe this could be the clown. But they killed the clown and Eddie was looking up at him with doe eyes that Richie just  _ knew  _ Pennywise couldn’t manage. It was Eddie. It had to be Eddie. 

“The- The deadlights, Richie… I was caught in the deadlights.”

…

They were sitting in Richie’s still parked car on the side of the road. Eddie had thrown on one of Richie’s shirts, in any other situation, he would’ve swooned at the sight of it. Well, okay, he still is right now. Richie knew he had to get Eddie somewhere to clean up, hell, Richie still needed to call the losers but right now he wanted to know everything about what happened and how the fuck he missed his best friend running off and getting trapped for the entirety of the fight. 

“Okay, explain it to me.” 

Eddie shifted uncomfortably and sighed. “After the three doors, when you and I were standing there watching that fucking clown, I saw something behind us. I turned to see it but then everything went… went wrong. Everything around me was black, I couldn’t see you, or the losers, or the clown. I thought I was screaming, but I guess something else was happening. Eventually, I hit a wall or something, when I looked up I saw them. Three lights… Shit, Richie, I was so scared. It was so fucking bright I could barely see anything at all.”

Richie didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he sharply took one in. Logically, he knew this had to have a happy ending, Eddie was sitting right next to him and he wasn’t dead so something was about to go right, it still hurt to hear though. 

“Then I saw him,” Eddie’s face shakily turned into a bright smile that melted Richie’s heart. “I saw Stanley.”

…

“Hi, Mike?” Richie spoke into his phone, “yeah it’s Richie. Yes, I’m feeling better, no, I’m not out of Derry.”

Eddie smiled from beside Richie, it was a shy smile, a quick glance then he’d look away but always turn back to do it again. A smart person would notice that he’s admiring him, not in a brotherly way, no that’s not right at all. He’s admiring him, he’s gazing at him, he’s lo-

“Yes, we’ll meet up at the quarry, I’ll tell you what’s up when we get there. Okay, bye.” 

Richie pressed the end call button on his phone, then he turned to Eddie and smiled at him, “he likes to talk huh?” 

Eddie laughed and nodded. They fell into a short silence then, a comfortable one but they knew that both of them still had questions. Still had things left unsaid. Eddie turned his head to look back out the window to look at the bridge and all the carvings on it. He read as many as he could see, then he noticed the sunlight bouncing off the blade of a knife that laid in the grass. Eddie wondered if anyone else was there, if anyone else saw Richie climb over the fence or saw them hugging. Then he saw it. 

“Richie…?” Eddie said in a voice barely above a whisper. 

“What’s up, Eds?” Richie responded, he looked up from his phone, probably reading text messages from his manager. He was doing that, actually. His manager had actually left a few bat-shit crazy messages demanding to know “what the fuck is going on” with Richie. Richie didn’t respond to any, he didn’t really want to talk to anyone besides Eddie. And, ever since Eddie’s comment about knowing that Richie didn’t write his own material, he hasn’t really been in the mood to be talking to the people who come up with his fake humor. 

“Why were you here?” 

Richie gasps at that, truth be told, he completely forgot he came here to redo the carvings. Though, seeing the man you love who you also saw die walking around is bound to make you forget a few things. 

“There’s no roads out of Derry around here and you were leaving, weren’t you?” 

Richie felt his throat go dry, “it’s just… It’s nothing Eds, I swears it.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes, “so that knife on the floor doesn’t belong to you?” 

Richie looked over Eddie’s shoulder and cursed himself, of course he forgot the evidence. Then his heart sank as he realized that Eddie couldn’t have missed what was written above it. He had to of seen it, it was obvious and fresh in the wood. He looked back to Eddie with panicked eyes and immediately started thinking of the thousand different ways he could apologize or play this off. 

“I’m gay.” He said instead. 

Eddie raised his eyebrows in shock, like that was not at all what he was expecting his friend to say. Richie’s eyes went wider (if that was possible), “okay well- no I’m bi- wait no- shit. Okay, listen-” 

He took a deep breath and shut his eyes,  _ you’ve got this Tozier, just breathe.  _ Then he opened his eyes and saw Eddie’s hopeful, yet confused ones. 

“ImbiandIvelovedyousincewewerekidsbutIcouldntsayanythingandImstillintheclosetandIreallydidntthinkyoudseethisbecauseyouresupposedtobedeadbutnowyouveseenitsofuck.” 

Eddie blinked, then he blinked again, and again. Well, what else could Richie expect considering he basically just vomited his feelings all over the place in the most incoherent way possible. 

“You’re bisexual.” 

Richie nods. 

“You’re not out of the closet.” 

Richie nods.

“You love me.”

Richie pauses, then he nods. 

Eddie doesn’t react for a second, then his face splits into the widest smile Richie swears he’s ever seen. Before Richie can even react, Eddie’s throwing his arms around his neck and pulling him into a bruising kiss. Richie is so shocked he almost doesn’t react, but he’s not going to let this moment slip through his fingers, never ever again. He kisses Eddie back and it feels like magic, better than magic, it just feels perfect. 

Eddie pulls away and smiles at Richie, “I love you too.” 

Richie lets out a breathless giggle and goes in for another kiss and, of course, Eddie wouldn’t dream of stopping him. When they pull away, Eddie rests his forehead against Richie’s and they just breathe. It’s all Richie could’ve ever wanted. Then Eddie breaks the silence. 

“I love you so much,” he whispers, “but I’m actually filthy, can we go somewhere with a shower now?” 

Richie barks out a laugh and nods his head. It’s okay that they don’t get to kiss for much longer, there’s time for that later because nobody (and he really means nobody) will ever take Eddie away again. 


	2. Stan.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What did Eddie really see in the deadlights?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way my tumblr is bi-bi-richie so go check that out if you want :)

It’s bright. It’s so fucking bright. Eddie swears that he’ll go blind after this, but then he has a horrifying thought that is  _ will there be an after this?  _

In an agonizingly slow pace, Eddie starts to make out shapes. There’s trees, the green on the leaves are so heavily shined on, he can barely make out the color. He slowly begins to realize things, like how green the grass below his feet is and how… small his feet are. In fact, now that he’s seeing it, he’s not wearing the shoes from that morning, or even the same pants. Fuck, he’s not even wearing pants, he’s wearing shorts. Red shorts. He pulls his hands up from his sides and looks at how small they are, how childish they are. He turns his head and sees a small body of water, one he recognizes but won’t dwell on because he needs answers. He breaks into a small run and almost trips over his own tiny body. When he reaches the water he drops to his knees to look at it and almost falls over when he sees his own reflection. He was thirteen again. 

“Eddie?” A voice chirped behind him. Eddie felt his heart freeze for just a second, then it started beating faster than he’s ever felt it beat before. He whips his head around and is met face to face with a boy, a boy he knows. It may have been years, twenty-seven of them to be exact, but Eddie would recognize that mop of curly blonde hair anywhere. The clean polo paired with neatly ironed khaki shorts that stopped just above the knee. The perfectly white shoes that had white socks that rode up just below the knee. Eddie would recognize him anywhere. 

“Stan,” he breathed, he suddenly felt light as air and charged after him. Stan had a look of confusion and hope, as he took in Eddie running after him, it changed into pure joy. 

“Oh my god, Eddie!” Eddie crashed into him, they almost felt backward but Stan managed to stabilize the hug because that’s what he did. That’s what he always was to Eddie, the most stable man he ever knew. Eddie wrapped his arms around Stan’s torso and buried his face into his chest. You never really know how much you miss someone until you see them again, at least that’s what Eddie thinks. 

Eddie pulls away from Stan after a minute or so and finally gets a good look into his eyes. They’re sad but happy at the same time, Eddie wonders if he’s been alone all this time. Well, it hasn’t been a very long time but time has still passed and to be alone when you know you’re dead, well, it’s not comforting. 

“I’m sorry,” Stan whispers as tears start to collect in his eyes, “I’m so sorry I didn’t come back.” 

Eddie shakes his head, “no don’t do that. It’s okay, Stanley, it’s okay.” 

“I left you guys.” 

“We all tried to leave, Stan. Me, Richie, Ben, Beverly… Mike and Bill were the only ones who didn’t get their stuff and try to leave. It’s okay, Stan.” 

Stan nods his head in a way that says  _ no, I don’t believe it but I won’t push it,  _ and as much as Eddie wishes he didn’t feel that way, he doesn’t think he’d think any differently if he were him. 

“At least you didn’t go up against him and die like me, right?” Eddie tries to joke, but there’s real fear behind it that Stan doesn’t miss. 

Wordlessly, Stan presses his left hand against Eddie’s chest and just holds it there for a moment. Eddie can’t help but notice how cold he is despite how warm the air around them was. After a second, Stan pulls his hand back and shakes his head at Eddie. 

“You’re not dead,” Eddie doesn’t miss the slight disappointment in his voice, “you wouldn’t have a heartbeat if you were dead.” 

Eddie pulls his own hand up to feel his chest and slightly nods his head. “Well, being a coward still brought me here, didn’t it?” 

Stan gave him a confused look, “what’re you talking about?” 

Eddie shrugged his shoulders and started to lower himself onto the soft grass below him. “I mean, look at me. The rest of them are fighting out there, probably winning, and avenging countless deaths, then look at me. I’m sitting in… heaven, talking to you instead of helping them fight.” He let out a humorless chuckle and started to let his eyes fill with tears, “before I came down here, Richie told me that I was braver than I thought I was. I thought I’d get to prove it to myself today and I didn’t. I bet they’re all- all being brave over there, attacking It with everything they’ve got and being heroes.”

Stan narrowed his eyes on the boy who suddenly looked much smaller than he really was, the boy who has put himself down for so long, he doesn’t realize his own worth and it’s killing him. Stan wonders if Eddie has been living his whole life like this, never knowing his real strength and forcing himself to be okay with it. But there’s no time to ask. 

“Eddie,” he takes a seat next to him, “you don’t need to fight a monster to prove that you’re brave.” 

Eddie looks at him with a wary gaze and opens his mouth to say something but Stan doesn’t let him. 

“Listen to me. Eddie, you  _ are _ braver than you know, but if you could only prove it by defeating supernatural beings, well, then nobody could really prove they’re brave.” Eddie chuckles and it makes Stan laugh, maybe he’s getting through to him. “You’ll be able to show how brave you are eventually, and it doesn’t need to be down in a disgusting sewer being faced with certain death.” 

Eddie pulled him into another hug then. It wasn’t as tight as the other hugs but it still meant a whole lot to both of the boys. “Thank you, Stanley,” then he pulled away and just watched his friend. He really did miss him a whole lot. 

“Will you be okay here?” Eddie asked. 

Stan smiles, “yes. I’m not as alone as you think. I’ve been here with Georgie and Georgie has been here with the rest of the kids from before, I’m guessing that those who have had an encounter with It have their own sort of heaven. I like that idea, it means I’ll get to see all of you guys again when it’s time.” Eddie smiles and thinks that he’ll be okay with dying if it means getting to see Stan and Georgie again, the others will be too. “Just, could you do one thing for me?” 

“Anything, Stan.”

“Could you tell my wife, Patty, that I’m sorry? That I love her?”

Eddie hesitates, realizing that Stan must’ve had a good life before he died, he must’ve died so suddenly on her. But he nods, he would do anything for Stan, especially now. And then, the world around Eddie started tearing at the edges, the brilliant heaven starting to be overcome with darkness and Eddie realizes that something must be happening back in the real world. He stands up and starts to frantically look around and realizes that everything is coming apart and he’s in the center of it. 

“Stan!” He chokes out and starts reaching out to his friend. “Stan, I don’t want to leave you!” 

Stan just smiles, he stands up again and walks towards Eddie to give him one last hug. A hug that Eddie almost can’t reciprocate in his panicked mind.

“It’s going to be okay, Eddie,” he whispers, “I’ll be okay.”

And before the world finally fades away, Stan says, “you’re going to be okay.” 

Then Eddie finds himself falling, his back hits the cold floor and he realizes that he’s back to real life. He’s back and he’s in one peace, but nobody is around him, so how could he have possibly woken up? Then a piece of the ceiling above him falls and hits the top of his head. He looks up and realizes that everything is coming apart, across from him he sees a stone figure of what he’d consider to be a very fucked up version of pennywise. He doesn’t have time to inspect it, though, he needs to run. It is dead and he needs to find his friends. 

He needs to find Richie. 

…

Now Eddie is sitting on a rock looking out to the water of the quarry with Richie’s hand in his. He thinks about how much prettier the place looked in heaven, but how he enjoys it so much more with Richie sitting right next to him. He wonders if Stan can see them and if he’s at least a little proud. He hopes he’s proud. 

Eventually, Richie drove Eddie back to the Derry Town House and rented out a room for another night. The woman at the front gave him a weird look but Richie didn’t pay it any mind, he needed to get Eddie a shower before he met back with the other losers anyway. After Eddie finished (and made out with Richie for about an hour) they decided to leave and go back to the quarry where they would hopefully meet all the losers again soon. 

“Why didn’t you tell them I was alive over the phone?” Eddie asked as they got out of the car. 

Richie smiled shyly and shrugged his shoulders, “oh, I don’t know. Maybe I like the shock value… Maybe I didn’t want them rushing back here so I’d get a few hours alone with the man I love. But those are all maybe’s.” 

Eddie chuckled and grabbed for his hand, “maybe I don’t mind being alone for a few hours with the man  _ I  _ love. But that’s just a maybe.” 

…

The first loser to walk through the bushes was Mike. He looked concerned, no doubt hoping that Richie had good news but, to be fair, the last time he saw Richie he was scared he was going to drive himself into a river and die. It’s a really dramatic scenario but that’s just how depressed Richie really was, and Richie couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t have tried. 

“Richie, what’s the news-” then Eddie turned his head and Mike lost all the air in his lungs. Something told Eddie that all the losers were going to react in a similar fashion.

And they did. Mike started crying when he realized what was going on and pulled Eddie into a tight hug. Bill, who was the next loser to show up, started laughing hysterically but in joy, realizing that they didn’t actually lose Eddie. Ben and Beverly showed up together, Beverly latched herself onto Eddie immediately and held him as close as she could while she cried into his shirt. Ben wasn’t quite as affectionate but he still cried. 

“I have a lot to tell you guys.” and this time, there was no clown to stop him.


	3. Forever

“Hello, this is Eddie Kaspbrak, I was an old friend of your husband’s, Stanley Uris.” 

It’s a hard call to make, Mike would probably argue otherwise but to Eddie, it was the hardest. Probably because he’s about to sound crazy, like he’s some insane prank caller, but Eddie has a rough outline of a plan. He knew about the letters that Stan sent to everyone, he figures it’d be easier to just say he read the message in the letter rather than tell her he’s been to heaven and saw her dead husband as a thirteen-year-old boy again. 

“Oh,” Patty said over the phone, a slight shudder in her voice. “I’m so sorry, I’m not sure if you got a letter or not, but my husband-” she pauses, Eddie hears the whimper in her voice and for a moment he’s scared he might cry as well. “He’s passed on.”

Eddie pauses, he hears her let out a muffled sob and he finally has to let himself take a deep breath. He has to get through this. “I… I’m actually calling about the letter I was given. He gave me specific instructions at the end to call this number and- and read out the message he wrote.” 

Eddie wished he had a script then, but Stan didn’t exactly give him much to go off of. Maybe it wasn’t Eddie’s place to try and give his wife closure like this, but it breaks his heart to think that she’ll have to keep living without another word from him, that she probably won’t see him even after she dies. 

“He wanted me to tell you that he’s sorry. He’s sorry that it doesn’t all make sense and that he can’t explain it, but he’s sorry. He wants you to know that he’s happy now, he’s probably somewhere where the grass is green and the sun never stops shining. He’s safe, he’s safe in a way he was never safe before, in a way he wishes he could help you understand. He’s okay. He’s okay and he loves you. He loves you so much and he hopes he’ll see you again one day.” 

It’s completely silent over the other line, Eddie desperately hopes that what he said was good, that it’s what Stan would’ve wanted. Eddie looks over to Richie who’s sitting in a chair at the other side of the room with a worried look. Richie has a soft smile for him and Eddie feels himself relax just a little bit.

There’s some sniffling on the other side of the phone then a voice that sounds a little taller than it had a few seconds ago. “Thank you so much.” And when she hangs up, Eddie doesn’t blame her at all. 

…

It had been a lot for the entire losers club to handle in the past week. On top of Eddie, who they had already mourned over, being alive and not even injured, the news he had was beyond comprehensible. Most of them didn’t believe him at first, Bill had laughed out loud when Eddie explained that he went to what looked like heaven, he claimed there was no such thing and even if there was, he couldn’t imagine Pennywise’s victims actually getting there. Mike agreed that there could’ve been a force of magic stopping them from actually going to heaven and Eddie supposed he had to sort of agree, but what he saw was heaven and he stood by that. Granted, he wasn’t actually sure what limitations the heaven had. Stan said every Pennywise victim, surely that had to include the horrible people like the Bowers gang, would they be allowed in heaven? Do innocent people go to this heaven? Do bad people find themselves in their own personal hell? Eddie didn’t know. 

Eddie mekely talked about Georgie then. He didn’t know much but he knew that, according to Stan, he had to of been in that heaven with multiple other kids for years, he wasn’t alone. And now he was definitely not alone because Stan was there with him. Bill got quiet then and it made Eddie feel like he had said something wrong. He was really trying to be as sensitive with the topic as possible but maybe, with all the years of struggling for closure, this could be too much.

That thought left his mind when Bill looked up at all of them with tears in his eyes but a smile on his lips. “Thank you,” he whispered. 

…

Richie had never felt so depressed yet relieved to be walking back into the commons of Derry, specifically the Derry Town House. Depressed because he was supposed to already be halfway back home at that point but relieved because he was beside the man he loves. He could stand another night in the old building if it meant walking out the next morning hand in hand with Eddie. 

When they walked back into their room, Richie was quick to throw himself onto the bed and snuggle into the Derry smelling covers and almost drifted off into sleep right then and there. “Jesus, Eds, I haven’t felt this exhausted since the first time I fucked your mom!” 

“Beep beep, Richie,” Eddie grumbled. When Richie didn’t feel his warmth near him, he slowly picked his head up and looked over to the chair. Eddie looked anxious where he sat, fiddling with his fingers, similar to how he looked the night they got in Derry. 

“Hey,” Richie said warmly. He picked himself up from his position on the bed and walked over to Eddie. He crouched down to eye level with his friend (boyfriend? Lover? He doesn’t know now) and tried to give him a comforting smile. “We killed It, okay? Nothing’s gonna get you.” 

Eddie sighed and shook his head. “No, Rich, it’s not that…”

They stayed silent for a moment longer, Richie was really waiting to see if he had more to say but when the silence dragged on he decided to prompt him with a hand on his knee and a nod of his head. 

“It’s just,” Eddie groaned, “I know what I have to do, I know what the next step is, I just don’t know what to do afterward.”

Richie rocked himself on the balls of his feet then let his body fall back and sit there. “What do you have to do?” 

Eddie shrugged but he knew the answer, “I have to leave Myra. It’s long overdue and, honestly, I’ve been wanting to do it ever since I signed that damn marriage license.” 

The other man chuckled a little at that, “what? The vows weren’t what made you realize your mistake?” 

“Uh, yeah,” Eddie scratched the back of his neck, “there- well, there- there wasn’t a wedding.” 

The silence then was very, very awkward. Richie always sort of wondered if Eddie really put that much effort into a marriage he wasn’t even happy in, but he didn’t realize that Eddie actually didn’t put any effort into the marriage. 

“I know, I know-” Eddie groaned again, “ _ god,  _ I know, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t walk down the aisle to her. To somebody I don’t love. Technically, I didn’t even propose to her either. My mom told her that I was going to, then Myra told me she knew and started trying to plan a wedding. I tried to tell my mom that I wasn’t ready to get married, but since she was dying at the time she guilt-tripped me by claiming that I was trying to tear away the experience of having a daughter-in-law and grandchildren from her.” He let out a bitter laugh at the memory and it made Richie’s heart twist. “Funny enough, she died before we married and I still couldn’t find it in me to call it off.”

Richie watched him for a few more seconds, watched the heartbreak and misery dance in his eyes before he prompted him to keep speaking again. “Why are you afraid of what comes after?” 

A selfish piece of Richie was silently aching at the thought of Eddie being afraid because of Richie. It’s no lie that Richie had already been imagining a life with Eddie, he was already planning on leaving Derry with him that next morning but he couldn’t stop his mind from planning the rest. He wanted to take Eddie back to his home, the one he had picked out in a nice neighborhood with a nice park nearby. The home was big and spacious, he picked out comfortable furniture that wasn’t even remotely his type but he always imagined that someone (someone he couldn’t remember) would one day walk in and love it. He had a first-aid kit in almost every room and even though he didn’t really care to actually pull them out if he got hurt, he imagined someone would be proud of him for it. The place was always stocked up with sweets he didn’t even care for, but he always ate them because they always brought back a memory he couldn’t see clearly or place right. Strawberry ice cream was always in his freezer even though his favorite flavor was rocky road. He didn’t know why he did all these over-the-top things for a person he couldn’t even remember the name of but he always did it without a second thought. He didn’t know until he saw Eddie standing next to a fish tank in a Chinese restaurant not even a week ago. 

“I don’t know. I mean, I have a vague plan. She’ll probably want… everything, so I’ll probably just take my clothes and end up in a hotel for a few weeks, then I’ll have to start-”

“Wait.” Richie cut him off and put his hand off as if to sign it too. “Why would you be staying in a hotel?” 

Eddie looked at him with a puzzled look as if it was obvious why. “I… I won’t have anywhere to live, Rich, I can’t be on the street.” 

“Yeah, obviously,” Richie stood up then and walked over to where Eddie sat, “that’s why you’re going to be staying with me? I thought that was obvious.” 

The smaller man stared blankly at Richie before his face broke out into a confused, hesitant smile and was followed by an equally confused and hesitant laugh. “What? Richie, there’s no way I could do that to you.”

“You’re not doing anything to me-”

“I can’t just walk into your life like that, that’s not- I can’t.”

“Oh please,” Richie rolled his eyes, though it was in a fond gesture. “You didn’t just ‘walk into my life,’ you’ve always been there, even if I didn’t remember you.” 

Eddie still shook his head, “it’s too much, I can’t do that to you.” 

“Do what? Hurt me? Trust me, Eds, it’ll hurt way worse if I have to walk out of here without you by my side.” 

The older man just sighed and looked down at the floor then. Richie thought he was going to cry, he looked like he was going to cry and that thought broke Richie’s heart. He’s cried so much already and Richie knows he’ll cry even more if he finds himself alone in a hotel room come the following week. 

“Eddie,” Richie placed his hands on the latter’s shoulders and leaned down to press a kiss on the top of his head. “I love you, I always have. Even when I didn’t remember you, I always loved you. You were always in the back of my mind, always plaguing my thoughts. No matter what I did, I always had this sexy little gremlin of a man who talks faster than the sound barrier can handle.” 

Eddie chuckled at that and looked back up to meet Richie’s magnified, purely love-filled eyes. “I’ve been waiting for you, Kaspbrak, I’ve waited my whole life for you and I’m not going to let you go a second time.” 

The two of them smiled and both of them knew the answer then. 

…

At 12:36 am the next day, Richie and Eddie were already on the road outside of Derry and on their way to Chicago. There was still a lot to do, not only did Eddie have to tell his (soon to be ex) wife that he was alive and ready to split, but both men had to let their jobs know that they didn’t die and that a few things were going to have to change. 

For one, Eddie had to let his company know that he’d be working in a whole other state. Also, he might want to beg not to lose his job considering the fact that he went at least three days without reporting back to them. Oh, and he’s going to actually need to sign up for therapy this time, all the losers will but him and Richie already discussed it and decided to make appointments very, very soon. 

Richie will have to make some changes too. He had two shows scheduled for the days he went missing so he’ll have to deal with the refunds and the consequences of losing that money, not to mention the fact that all shows will have to be canceled until further notice due to the fact that he’s recovering from… trauma. On top of all that, he’s going to have to come up with some excuse as to why he was gone out of the blue like that and why he’s suddenly moving in a man they’ve never met before. It sounds like a dumb thing to have to explain but apparently his business is their business. Oh, and he’s going to be writing his own material from now on. 

“Dunno why you’re gonna start writing your own material now,” Eddie mentioned as they ate in his car during their drive. “You still have the sense of humor of a thirteen-year-old.”

“Yowza!” Richie chuckled, “Eds! Think of my fragile ego!” then he winced when Eddie flicked him in the side of the head. 

“That’s not the only thing that’s fragile, I see.” 

“Gee, Eds,” he rubbed at the spot on his head but smiled nonetheless, “maybe you should write my material from now on!”

“Hm!” Eddie placed his burger on his lap then threw his hands up in the air like he was presenting something, “I can see it now! Richie Trashmouth Tozier’s comedy special, How I Killed a Literal Demon Clown Twice, written by his fellow repressed gay man.”

“Fellow repressed gay man, eh? Is that what they call boyfriends now?” Richie barked out a laugh at the thought of it, “my name is Richie Tozier and this is my fellow repressed gay man, Eddie Kaspbrak!” 

Eddie cackled right next to him and nodded his head, “if anyone else in the audience has a fellow repressed gay man, please stand up! We want to give you a round of applause!” 

Richie knows he hasn’t laughed that hard in years, hell, he knows he hasn’t even been that funny in years and he wasn’t even the funny one. 

“Y’know, Eds,” he said as he chucked a ketchup packet at Eddie’s head, “I think I figured out why I couldn’t write my own material before.” 

Eddie giggled, “why’s that, Trashmouth?” 

“Well, I think I need a special Kaspbrak by my side to truly be funny.”

Eddie stopped laughing and just smiled at him then, it was true that his recorded humor wasn’t the same as the funny shit-talking boy he knew back in Derry. Eddie wondered, as he watched his shows, if that’s just how Richie was now. Words couldn’t express how relieved he felt when he saw the man face-to-face and realized that he hadn’t changed a bit. 

“But since I don’t have your mom anymore, I guess I have to settle for you.” 

“Shut the fuck up!” 

…

They were close to Richie’s home now. Richie knew the way around like the back of his hand at this point, meaning that he got lost a few times because Richie doesn’t know shit about the back of his hand. But when he finally knew where he was going, he started to feel himself get twitchy and anxious. Would Eddie like the house? Shit, would Eddie like living with him? Would he be enough? Is he enough right now? Is this what Eddie really wants? 

“Richie, I can hear your thoughts from over here,” Eddie whispered because the silence in the car was to thick for him to break. 

“Sorry, Eds, guess I’m just thinking.” 

Eddie nodded his head, then he shyly looked down. “I’ve been thinking too.”

“Oh?” 

“Mhm.”

“Do tell!” 

Eddie huffed out a laugh then sat himself up in the car. “Maybe this is a bit forward, but I think me and you are on the same page about this.”

Richie turned his head to look at Eddie then with a confused look, “what do you mean?” 

The smaller man sighed and shrugged his shoulders, “I was just thinking… That when we’re settled in together, like with our jobs and my marriage and just living together, that I want to marry you.” 

Richie froze then, his thoughts coming to a complete stop and his heart skipped at least three beats. The whole world seemed to stop for just a moment, then it kicked into full gear and Richie couldn’t answer fast enough. 

“Yes!” He gasped out. 

“Yes? You want to marry me?” 

“Yes! Yes, oh my god, yes! Fuck, of course, I want to marry you!” Richie leaned over and pressed his lips against Eddie’s then peppered them all over his freckled face. “Please, yes, fuck! Yes, let’s get married.” 

Eddie’s giggles were like music to Richie’s ears and Richie was just soaking it all in. But, really, what’s the rush?

They have forever. 


End file.
